Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
