One girl and one boy is just not enough.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize