oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
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