What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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