How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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