I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
