i permit you to call me
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I need water and some morals
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
