I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Randomize
