do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
