I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
