Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
