WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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