His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
