turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
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