Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
