i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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