We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Randomize
