PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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