Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
