The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
