Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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