I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
