When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
