So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
wow bdsm is so cute
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
