Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize