All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
