can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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