omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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