I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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