Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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