you traded sex for a burrito?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
