let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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