you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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