Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Randomize
