if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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