PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
