he wants to bone in the snuggie
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
