I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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