I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
