She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
The ass gains better be worth it
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