At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize