I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize