I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Why is there bacon in the couch?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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