i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
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