i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize