Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
