But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
