We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
