I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
