im drinking this country out of the recession.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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