The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
