Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
