I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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