There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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