The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
